A/N: Hiya people, sorry it’s been forever, but I hit a block and couldn’t get around it, despite help from the lovely Anne. I have ideas, and they’re starting to want to come out again, so I’m hoping it won’t be too long until the next instalment.
Chapter 33 – SPOV
Sex in the corvette was a disaster. I felt like I had bruises on my bruises, and setting the horn off with my butt was just embarrassing. At least we were able to get back on track once everyone went to bed, and boy did we… Whoo!
I was hoping for a little sleep in, but Pam had other ideas. No sooner had the sun come up over the horizon; Pam was trying to bash the door down and screeching for me to get my ass out of bed because we needed to shop. Eric was still using ear plugs so he was not subjected to the shocking noise his sister was able to create, however managed to grumble and poke at me to make sure I answered.
“I’m awake, Pam. I’ll be up in about twenty minutes.” I yelped as Eric’s finger jabbed once again into my ribs. Just because I was now in an ornery mood I flipped the covers right off the bed, leaving Eric naked to the morning air. The annoying thing was that he barely noticed he just clawed at the bed looking for them. An attack of conscience on my part returned them to their rightful place, although I wasn’t going to complain about the view.
A hot shower managed to make me more agreeable, something about the water running over my scalp made me happy. I shampooed, shaved, conditioned, exfoliated and generally just enjoyed the simple pleasure of getting myself nice and pruney. When I eventually made it upstairs, Pam was not happy with me in the least.
“Finally!” she sighed, “I thought you’d melted, or washed down the drain, or went through the looking glass and were playing croquet with the Red Queen.”
“Ok Pam,” I laughed. “I’m sorry I took so long, let me get a…”
“No time for coffee!” Pam declared in ringing tones, jumping to her feet and chivvying me out the door and into the car. “You’ve kept me from shoes, woman! SHOES! I’ll get you a to-go cup of coffee after you’ve redeemed yourself” she added.
I tried my best not to pout as we left the house coffee-less, I guess I didn’t really NEED it, but I didn’t feel right starting my day without it. Pam was now in a fabulous mood, grinning like a loon and chattering about what and how we were going to be shopping today – I think she could sense the limit on my credit card.
“Because you made me stay away from shoes yesterday, we’ll be looking at those mostly,” she said officiously. “Then, you’re going to buy a fabulous dress from my very favourite vintage shop, one – because it’s going to look fabulous, two – because I said so and three – the club we’re going to tonight is 1920’s and they like people to dress up.”
I smiled and nodded and told myself that leaping out of a moving vehicle would not be a good idea. Lack of coffee is definitely a bad thing so I made a mental note to ensure I didn’t waste time with personal hygiene when shopping with Pam.
We arrived at the mall and I was almost running to keep up with Pam as she set out for her retail therapy. A change came over her as soon as we entered the doors, the next hour or so flew past in a blur; Pam in a shop was like a natural disaster, unstoppable, terrifying and expensive.
Shop assistants were left incoherent husks on the floor as Pam inspected and discarded purses, shirts, sweaters, pants, dresses, accessories and shoes at a rate of knots. Despite her rather fearsome approach to shopping, Pam was fabulously perceptive in knowing what shapes, materials, colours and styles would suit my body type. I didn’t once have to brave the fitting rooms with the hideous fluorescent lighting and awful mirrors that manage to make even the most beautiful of women look like a hippopotamus in a tutu.
Three hours after we started shopping, Pam decided it was time for a break. I don’t know if she was worried about me, or if she was hungry – either way I wasn’t going to complain about sitting down for a few minutes.
Pam decided on a trendy café near the shop we just exited. I could see the sales girls running around putting things back to rights after Hurricane Pam had been through. I felt a little sorry for them; my empathy slightly dampened by the idea of the fat commissions they would have made on Pam’s purchases.
We settled in to a small table in the back of the room, a server quickly taking a drinks order and promising to be back soon for our food order.
“Make sure you eat well, I can’t have you going all Victorian on me.” Pam announced, burying her nose in the menu.
“Victorian?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yes, swoony, weak, faint.” She explained “Eric would be whining about his feet being sore by now, and as this is your first shopping expedition with me I want to make sure you don’t collapse on me.”
I laughed again “Don’t worry about me, Pam. I’m made of sterner stuff.”
“You have been holding up remarkably well,” she commented with a smirk. “I may have to steal you away more often.”
“I don’t know if my bank balance could handle many shopping trips like this,” I grinned, secretly thrilled that Pam and I had been able to find so many nice things. I hadn’t gone on a decent shopping spree in a long time.
“That’s what jobs and credit cards are for.” Pam laughed. “I know what you mean though; before I opened the club, I’d only let myself go this crazy every couple of years… super-tricky-to-access savings accounts are fabulous.” She added, tapping the side of her nose. “I also have three credit cards in my freezer.”
The thought of Pam desperately trying to thaw out a credit card with her hairdryer so she could shop was surprisingly funny. Although I doubted she’d ever let herself get that desperate, it managed to take the edge off the ‘no coffee’ grudge I was holding on to.
I looked around as Pam made comments on the people coming and going realising that from this position Pam was able to see the entire café. Like a ruling monarch, Pam watched people come and go, making comments here and there about how someone was dressed or what they could do to look a little better. It made me wonder why she wasn’t working in fashion rather than owning a nightclub.
All of a sudden, Pam launched herself out of her seat and stormed out. My shock at her abrupt exit changed to side splitting laughter when she stopped a woman who had been walking past. The woman was dressed completely in beige, and with her long blonde hair hanging around her face she looked like a Saluki walking on its hind legs.
I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. Pam was gesturing wildly and obviously lecturing her on her dress sense. I didn’t think she looked that bad really – other than blending in to the walls, but I think Pam took the woman’s beige-ness to be a personal affront to her sense of style. She took the woman gently by the arm and steered her toward a store near-by, sending her off with a gentle push. The woman moved toward the store looking completely bemused – turning to check if Pam was still watching… she was.
Once the woman had moved into the hands of a sales girl and wandered out of sight, Pam returned with a happy smile on her face and flopped into her chair – which was most un-Pam-like.
“My good deed for the year was saving that woman from herself.” She said with a satisfied sigh. “It should definitely count as a public service.” I stifled a snort of laughter, and let Pam bask in the glow of her humanitarian efforts.
We managed to finish lunch with no further fashion disasters or interruptions. Our waiter tried to flirt with Pam a little, and only tried harder when she started flirting with the waitress of another section. When Pam succeeded in getting her number, I think his brain might have stopped working due to lack of blood flow.
“I really don’t know why he thought he had a chance – his shoes were from Wal-Mart.” Pam muttered, shuddering at the thought of low cost footwear. Having a few pairs from Target and Wal-Mart myself, I didn’t really understand Pam’s aversion. But then she was fairly fussy in general so I let it slide and made a mental note to hide them whenever she visited again.
Cheque paid and phone number returned to our overly ambitious server, Pam headed back to the car park with me following behind like a well-trained minion.
“We aren’t shoe shopping?” I asked, almost whining at the thought of leaving all the pretty behind. Although it had been a long time since I’d been on a shopping binge I was looking forward to treating myself to a nice pair of heels.
“I was thinking about it over lunch and I decided that it would be better if you picked out your dress before we picked the shoes,” she replied in a comforting tone. “It’s easier that way – especially because we’ll be shopping vintage.” Pam added with an almost motherly smile – it made me wonder what she’d be like if she was Aunty Pam and I was almost cringing at the thought of the baby names she would be sure to suggest, not to mention the couture that would be spoiled by spit-up and strained peas.
A short drive later we pulled in to an out of the way store that looked more ghetto than fabulous and I wondered how far Pam would actually go for fashion… hopefully bloodshed was off the list.
“Fleur!” Pam squealed as we walked in the door.
“Pam!” A woman replied, strutting over and air kissing Pam before stepping back to check her out.
“You’re looking fabulous sweetie, and you’ve bought me a new customer, I knew there was a reason I loved you.” she added with a giggle.
Pam snickered and the two launched into a catch-up conversation that sounded like chipmunk gibberish. I didn’t mind though as it allowed me to study Fleur in more detail.
Fleur dressed like she’d just stepped out of Grease or Happy Days. Her silky black hair was pulled up into a tight ponytail with her bangs puffed into a little pompadour, her skin was pale and flawless, her eyes enhanced with long black spidery lashes, and her lipstick, an amazingly vibrant red. Her slim figure was displayed to advantage in tight black cigarette pants and a red sweetheart neck top, she had finished her ensemble with an arm full of black and red bangles and black mary-jane heels. Whether they were vintage or not I have no idea, but she looked fantastic… I’d never be able to get away with anything like that, too many curves.
“Oh, Sookie, I’m so sorry, that was unbelievably rude of me,” Pam said, patting my shoulder “Fleur, this is Sookie – Eric’s fiancée.”
“Oooooh!” Fleur squealed. “That’s fantastic news! Congratulations darling!” she added squeezing me in a hug and air kissing me. “Show me the ring.”
I was giggling at the excitement a complete stranger was showing over my recent engagement, but showed her nonetheless, holding my hand out for inspection.
“Ohh” She cooed. “It’s gorgeous!”
“Fleur has been my vintage go to girl since forever,” Pam said, linking arms with Fleur and hugging it like a favourite toy.
“Now I know you only visit me at work when you want something, you glamorous thing,” Fleur said, winking at me, “so what can I get for you?”
“We’re going out for New Year’s Eve, dinner and dancing at the Cicada Club,” Pam said, eyeing the racks with anticipation. “You know, of course, it’s late 20’s, Art Deco, but I hate the shapelessness of the fashion from that era so anything you think would make us look fabulous is fine, you know I trust you.”
“Pam, I know you love simple but stunning, and I think I have just the dress for you” Fleur said knowingly, walking to a nearby rack and pulling out a black dress that didn’t look like anything special. “I know it’s not much on the hanger, but humour me and try it on.” she added, pushing the garment into Pam’s hands before striding off to another rack “And this delightful little number is your mother through and through, I know you’re the same size, so try it on to check for me then take it off my hands, I know she’ll look fantastic.” She added, gently adding the extra garment and with a little skip, Pam headed off to the fitting rooms.
“Now,” Fleur said, turning to me. “You, Miss Sookie, are going to be a little trickier, because I have no idea what kind of things you like, but I think you’d look fabulous in one of my favourites. Follow me.” she said over her shoulder, zooming off to another part of the store.
Again, I followed like a good little minion and had to jog to keep up. Fleur had four dresses out and in my arms before I could catch a glimpse of what she wanted me to try on. I glanced down as she chivvied me toward the fitting rooms and saw black lace over red satin and a very full skirt.
“Before you get naked Sookie, come and bask in my gorgeousness,” Pam said laughingly through the curtain. “Fleur, you’ve done it again.”
In typical Pam fashion, the curtain swung aside dramatically and we caught sight of a posing and completely smitten Pam. The dress was boat-necked, fitted and belted. It was completely black except for the back where it folded open to reveal a white satin lining with a huge decorative button. The skirt was slim fitting and with Pam’s long legs it looked spectacular, if a little confining.
“It’s gorgeous, but uh…how the heck are you going to dance in that?” I asked as she twirled slowly, “there’s no split in the back.”
“It’s a wiggle dress” Fleur explained, “It’s supposed to be like that; the hem is supposed to be narrower than the hips so that it keeps the woman’s knees close together when she moves and makes her wiggle when she walks. It’s very sexy.”
“I won’t be dancing too much anyway,” Pam answered “I detest getting hot and sticky… unless I can get an orgasm out of it,” she added with a wink and a smirk, before sashaying back to her fitting room.
I snorted out a giggle and shook my head – that Pam. Fleur was snickering a little too, obviously used to Pam’s complete lack of filter.
“Ok, now that little Miss Poser is done” Fleur giggled.
“I heard that!” Pam yelled
“You were supposed to!” Fleur yelled back with another laugh. “Now it’s your turn Sookie, get in there and let’s see how you look in those dresses.”
The first one I tried was red satin with a black lace overlay, it had a sweetheart neckline with little crystals sewn along the top and scattered over the skirt. It was gorgeous and looked absolutely wrong on me. It was so fitted that it pushed my already ample bosom up to my chin, and the way the boning cut into my waist gave me a Pooh Bear tummy.
I laughingly pulled aside the curtain to show Fleur how horribly it fit. She choked back a giggle and flapped her hands at me to go back and change out of the dress as soon as possible. If it hadn’t made me look like a demented strawberry I would have taken a picture to show the others how awful it looked, however, there’s only so much shame one girl can take.
A dove grey strapless with a yellow sash was next, but again, the boning cut into my waist and although it wasn’t quite as bad as the red dress, it still wasn’t the look I was going for. A hot pink number fitted fabulously, but unfortunately washed me out so that was another dress on the reject pile.
The last dress I tried on was made of a bright peacock blue sari silk with silver embellishing all over. The cross over halter top contained and supported ‘the girls’ and the waist line was cut low enough to give me an hourglass figure before the skirt fluffed out over my hips. I fell in love with it as soon as I’d zipped it up.
I swept the curtain aside to show Pam and Fleur my choice. Doing a little twirl and basking in the ooh’s, aahh’s and general fabulousness of finding a dress I loved.
“That’s the one I was hoping would suit you” Fleur said clapping and bouncing excitedly “It looks fabulous!”
“It’s fantastic” Pam agreed, “and the colour makes your eyes pop. Now we just need to find something for Gran and get you some shoes.”
Pam and Fleur made plans to meet up another day for lunch while I changed out of my new dress. I almost didn’t want to take it off; I just loved it that much.
Another twenty minutes or so passed as Fleur suggested one dress or another before Pam and I picked a dress that would suit Gran to a tea. I was sure she’d love it.
In a flurry of activity, I had paid for the dresses for Gran and myself then hustled into the car to shop for shoes. Apparently Pam wasn’t to be distracted from shoes for too long by vintage fashion and gorgeous friends.
I trailed after Pam for what seemed like hours while she tried on pair after pair of beautiful shoes. They were like works of art for your feet. I tried on a few pairs but couldn’t find anything I LOVED that would want to spend a tonne of money on. I didn’t own many ‘high fashion’ shoes, they’re way too far out of my budget usually, but boy did I love looking.
I found a pair I liked enough to bother buying. They weren’t eye catching or designer, just simple black suede peep toe heels with a little bow over the toes. They were cute, and worked with the style of my dress. I could see how dressing like I was from the 50’s would be fun.
“Just one more store, Sookie? Pretty Please with Dior on top?” Pam asked, wheedling tone and eyelashes fluttering. Apparently this was Pam trying to be convincing.
“Ok Pam, ONE more.” I laughed. Despite my aching feet, and my annoyance with Pam’s ability to spend hours in a single store only to leave without buying anything, I really had been having a good day.
Finally… just as my Pam threshold was reaching “Oh holy hell, just kill me now” and my feet were about to fall off in protest, I found a pair that I just HAD to have… blue satin Manolo Blahnik sling backs. I didn’t bother to contain my squeal of delight, and ran over to gape at their awesomeness.
“Oh Thank God!” Pam groaned.
“Huh?” I half asked half drooled. Shoes… want… so pretty.
“I could have gone home 4 stores ago!” Pam continued. “I’ve been waiting for you to find something fantastic. Now buy them so I can go home and soak my feet. I’ll never tease Eric about his shopper’s feet again.”
A shockingly horrendous credit card transaction later and we were finally headed home, my new favourite shoes safely in my lap. I loved them so much I don’t know if I’d ever wear them, maybe I’d just take them out and look… but they were just so pretty!
“You’re home!” Gran chuckled as Pam and I stumbled in “We were thinking you’d run away to join the circus.”
“No, Gran,” I giggled kissing her hello and working my way around the room to say hi to everyone else. “We’ve been shopping, picked up something to wear for New Year’s.”
“If you’ve been shopping with Pam I’m sure the car is full” Eric said, squeezing my shoulders “Jason, would you mind giving me a hand?”
“Sure. I know my sister, and I’m getting to know yours. I’m surprised they didn’t come home in a semi-trailer.” Jason said with a chuckle.
“It was a close thing, but I managed to talk Pam out of that last skirt that would have put us over the edge” I said, blowing a raspberry in their direction and propping my aching feet up on the chair.
Three trips later everything was in the living room, waiting to be sorted.
“Holy CheezWiz, Sookie!” Jason yelped before collapsing onto the nearest chair. “This is worse than Christmas!”
“Shhhh!” I hissed, placing my hands over the nearest pile “Not in front of the pretties!”
P.S – Yes, I know people who keep their credit cards frozen in small ice cream containers, just so they have them for emergencies. There’s no fast way to defrost them without having to SERIOUSLY think about what you’re using it for. If you’ve seen “Confessions of a Shopaholic” you’ll know they used this idea too. If I had room in my freezer I’d do something similar, but mine is taken up with weird stuff like food.
I got the woman/saluki reference from a book I read a while back and it just made me laugh. I started this chapter while Alex was ‘dating’ Kate Bosworth, (Yes I know! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve updated, I’m Sorry!) and a lot of people I spoke to were almost offended by her dress sense so I thought it kinda fit.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I’ll post another one as soon as I can.
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